Rambo to the rescue...
Way back when I was in Hyderabad working for "Sachchyam" I'd get into all sorts of situations...this is one of them...
"For want of a horse a kingdom was lost" - I assume this quote exists...and this story vindicates a similar quote - "For want of an irani chai..." - Aha!!!! why reveal what happened so soon...let me tell my story at my own pace and those who persist till the end can find out(what all I have to come up with to ensure a captive audience!!!)
It all happened when I decided to have an early morning cup of tea...after yet another night out in office I started back home on a dark winter morning- the roads were silent and empty...there was a slight chill in the air and a light mist enveloped me(or maybe I exaggerate - I think it was smog since a mist wouldnt smell of CO)...as I neared home I spotted a cafe and the prospect of warming myself with a cup of irani chai seemed very tempting...as an added bonus there were two big alsatians near the pan dabba(every cafe in the city has a pan dabba attached - its like an ordinance or something I guess)
So I went over to the pan dabba and let the dogs acquaint themselves with me...having sniffed me they must have come to the conclusion that I was harmless as they allowed me to scratch their ears and generally fuss over them...I asked the pan dabba owner(hereafter referred to as RatFace)whose dogs these were...he pointed to a hefty guy(hereafter referred to as Hefty)standing beside the dabba...I complimented Hefty on his friendly dogs and got a grunt in response - the sort of grunt that conveyed the message that he would have been infinitely happier if the dogs started feasting on me instead of licking me...
At this juncture RatFace interjected "haan - iske do kuttein hain aur yeh khud sabse bada kutta hai" (1)...being involved in ruffling my newfound canine friends' fur I gave a distracted smile to indicate that I had heard what he had said - and in doing so made a big mistake...
Hefty glared at me and growled "Kaiko hans raha hai be !!" (2)
"Uh-oh" I thought - I was distracted and failed to see that Hefty was on the prod...and good old RatFace had initiated proceedings which would keep him entertained...I guess I must be losing my touch in old age - when I was a kid I could spot such guys from a distance - which enabled me to take a route that took me out of danger...such skills were vital for survival at that time...and here I was on a serene winter morning stuck in an unpleasant situation that could go to the dogs (no pun intended) in a moments notice...
Hefty straightened up and repeated "Kaiko hans raha hai be !!"... (3)
I hoped that my talking-myself-out-of-trouble skills were not too rusty and said "mein yeh kutton ko dekh ke hans raha tha" (4) - and cursed myself as soon as I said that since I could visualise what RatFace would say next - and sure enough he snickers and goes "tereko dekh ke hans raha hai kathe" (5)...by this time I had my poker face on and gave no reaction to that insinuation...I knew that telling RatFace he was making unsubstantiated allegations would not elicit any sympathy...
Hefty sized me up and must have decided that I was fair game since he started stalking towards me...I was going through my extensive database of similar situations I had been in and deciding on what my next move should be when I saw Rambo coming towards us on his motorbike...
I'll have to go into some flashback here - I live near two localities named TRT(Two Room Tenants) and SRT(Single Room Tenants) - these localities were famous for producing two kinds of products - cricket players and goondas(some talented fellows could play both roles with ease)...so while I was growing up I came into contact with lots of these guys(and I also came into contact with some of their fists and feet but that is another story)
Some of these guys were my "friends"(the term is used very loosely) - and Rambo was in this category...(of course that wasnt his real name - said real name was a boring and uninspiring Ramulu - not the kind of name that would strike fear into people's hearts - I guess thats why he changed his name...also the movie 'Rambo' was a big hit at that time). As kids we used to laugh among ourselves about this monicker - and of course we never laughed when we were around him. One does not laugh at someone who carries switchblades and knuckle dusters on his person - unless one carries the same implements - and one is willing to use them - and most importantly one knows how to use them.
So there I was in this sticky situation and like a knight in shining armour in rode Rambo on his yezdi and parked himself beside the pan dabba. Ratface and Hefty looked around to see who had arrived and greeted Rambo with a brace of "namaste bhai" (6)(which prompted me to deduce that Rambo must have moved up in the hierarchy since I last met him).
Rambo acknowledged them with a curt nod and espying me he grinned and said "kyon hero - bahut dino baad dikh raha hai - chal chai peetein hain" (7).
There are moments in life when one wishes that one has a camera and this was one such moment - the look on RatFace and Hefty's faces was hilarious - I almost laughed out loud but decided that it would be a bad tactical mistake...
so thats how it all ended...I haven't been to that cafe again(as yet) but I've seen Hefty around and he always gives me an introspective look...as if deciding whether I am worth the trouble of antagonizing Rambo...I just ignore him but note his reactions from the corner of my eye(another skill picked up in childhood) and go my own way....after all the past is the past and if not Rambo then I can depend on Shakeel...or Chinna...or Franklin...
Glossary (translations):
(1): Yep - this guy has two dogs but he's the biggest dog
(2): What you laughing at punk!!
(3): Same as above (i.e. What you laughing at punk!!) - said in slightly more threatening tones
(4): I was looking at these dogs and laughing
(5): He says he was laughing at you
(6): Greetings Godfather!
(7): Long time no see dude...lets catch up over a tea
"For want of a horse a kingdom was lost" - I assume this quote exists...and this story vindicates a similar quote - "For want of an irani chai..." - Aha!!!! why reveal what happened so soon...let me tell my story at my own pace and those who persist till the end can find out(what all I have to come up with to ensure a captive audience!!!)
It all happened when I decided to have an early morning cup of tea...after yet another night out in office I started back home on a dark winter morning- the roads were silent and empty...there was a slight chill in the air and a light mist enveloped me(or maybe I exaggerate - I think it was smog since a mist wouldnt smell of CO)...as I neared home I spotted a cafe and the prospect of warming myself with a cup of irani chai seemed very tempting...as an added bonus there were two big alsatians near the pan dabba(every cafe in the city has a pan dabba attached - its like an ordinance or something I guess)
So I went over to the pan dabba and let the dogs acquaint themselves with me...having sniffed me they must have come to the conclusion that I was harmless as they allowed me to scratch their ears and generally fuss over them...I asked the pan dabba owner(hereafter referred to as RatFace)whose dogs these were...he pointed to a hefty guy(hereafter referred to as Hefty)standing beside the dabba...I complimented Hefty on his friendly dogs and got a grunt in response - the sort of grunt that conveyed the message that he would have been infinitely happier if the dogs started feasting on me instead of licking me...
At this juncture RatFace interjected "haan - iske do kuttein hain aur yeh khud sabse bada kutta hai" (1)...being involved in ruffling my newfound canine friends' fur I gave a distracted smile to indicate that I had heard what he had said - and in doing so made a big mistake...
Hefty glared at me and growled "Kaiko hans raha hai be !!" (2)
"Uh-oh" I thought - I was distracted and failed to see that Hefty was on the prod...and good old RatFace had initiated proceedings which would keep him entertained...I guess I must be losing my touch in old age - when I was a kid I could spot such guys from a distance - which enabled me to take a route that took me out of danger...such skills were vital for survival at that time...and here I was on a serene winter morning stuck in an unpleasant situation that could go to the dogs (no pun intended) in a moments notice...
Hefty straightened up and repeated "Kaiko hans raha hai be !!"... (3)
I hoped that my talking-myself-out-of-trouble skills were not too rusty and said "mein yeh kutton ko dekh ke hans raha tha" (4) - and cursed myself as soon as I said that since I could visualise what RatFace would say next - and sure enough he snickers and goes "tereko dekh ke hans raha hai kathe" (5)...by this time I had my poker face on and gave no reaction to that insinuation...I knew that telling RatFace he was making unsubstantiated allegations would not elicit any sympathy...
Hefty sized me up and must have decided that I was fair game since he started stalking towards me...I was going through my extensive database of similar situations I had been in and deciding on what my next move should be when I saw Rambo coming towards us on his motorbike...
I'll have to go into some flashback here - I live near two localities named TRT(Two Room Tenants) and SRT(Single Room Tenants) - these localities were famous for producing two kinds of products - cricket players and goondas(some talented fellows could play both roles with ease)...so while I was growing up I came into contact with lots of these guys(and I also came into contact with some of their fists and feet but that is another story)
Some of these guys were my "friends"(the term is used very loosely) - and Rambo was in this category...(of course that wasnt his real name - said real name was a boring and uninspiring Ramulu - not the kind of name that would strike fear into people's hearts - I guess thats why he changed his name...also the movie 'Rambo' was a big hit at that time). As kids we used to laugh among ourselves about this monicker - and of course we never laughed when we were around him. One does not laugh at someone who carries switchblades and knuckle dusters on his person - unless one carries the same implements - and one is willing to use them - and most importantly one knows how to use them.
So there I was in this sticky situation and like a knight in shining armour in rode Rambo on his yezdi and parked himself beside the pan dabba. Ratface and Hefty looked around to see who had arrived and greeted Rambo with a brace of "namaste bhai" (6)(which prompted me to deduce that Rambo must have moved up in the hierarchy since I last met him).
Rambo acknowledged them with a curt nod and espying me he grinned and said "kyon hero - bahut dino baad dikh raha hai - chal chai peetein hain" (7).
There are moments in life when one wishes that one has a camera and this was one such moment - the look on RatFace and Hefty's faces was hilarious - I almost laughed out loud but decided that it would be a bad tactical mistake...
so thats how it all ended...I haven't been to that cafe again(as yet) but I've seen Hefty around and he always gives me an introspective look...as if deciding whether I am worth the trouble of antagonizing Rambo...I just ignore him but note his reactions from the corner of my eye(another skill picked up in childhood) and go my own way....after all the past is the past and if not Rambo then I can depend on Shakeel...or Chinna...or Franklin...
Glossary (translations):
(1): Yep - this guy has two dogs but he's the biggest dog
(2): What you laughing at punk!!
(3): Same as above (i.e. What you laughing at punk!!) - said in slightly more threatening tones
(4): I was looking at these dogs and laughing
(5): He says he was laughing at you
(6): Greetings Godfather!
(7): Long time no see dude...lets catch up over a tea
posted by Ash at 10:16 PM
1 Comments:
really really cracked me up. up at 12.30 in pardes reading your hyd blog is really precious!! thanks for the laughs man....and for taking care of the subtitles for les francais...:)
rambo-ramulu...:)) :)) :))
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